Monday, May 15, 2006

Survival Of The Fittest

I don't know. I really don't know. What to do, what to think, what to expect. I'm halfway up the slope. At least I feel I'm going up, but I could be wrong, I don't care. When I left for this journey I knew I had to take it, alone, I knew there would be no return. My greatest expectations were nowhere near the wonderful things I have experienced along the way. But I knew this day would come. I knew one day, despite all the good, I would feel this je ne sais quoi torturing me, feeling cold and weak, looking for shelter. This is a lonely journey, I can't see what lays ahead, not even to the sides. I can't go back, I don't want to. I've passed several checkpoints, I've had helping hands along the way but, sooner or later, I always end up all alone in the dark. I knew it would be like this, I know I must go on no matter the rain, the snow, the freezing cold. No matter the darkness. I was never one of the fittest, I was never a survivor. I always needed shelter during hardship to replenish my strength. Now I don't have one, home is no longer behind, that's the price of adulthood. Home lies ahead, wherever it is, whatever its shape might be. That's why I began this post by writing "I don't know". Because I really don't, all is uncertainty right now, even the path to follow. All I know is I must survive, the world outside and my own fears. It may be against the odds, but I will.

5 Comments:

Blogger Bernardo said...

Of course you will!
A nossa idade é tão linda, tão cheia de descobertas, de novas visões do mundo!
E acho ainda que, a par das nossas escolhas, devemos ir observando tudo e interiorizar e sentir e descobrir a poesia e o indízível das coisas!
;)

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